It’s been awhile since I have ridden a horse but today I was blessed to be able to get on two different horses and trot around in nature. I love animals, love horses and love riding any chance that is given to me. I love having time where I am not having to do much but let the horse do its thing and follow the rhythm of its movement. It’s again one of those times in life where you must be in the moment. Just as hiking 14ers is. If you get too lost in the past or future, you are not at one with the horse and not so great things can happen.
When I was 12 I was in a really bad horse accident. I was with my girl scout troop and my horse saw lightning in the distance, reared, and took off at full speed. I slid off the horse but my foot got caught in the saddle and I was dragged for about two miles. I was knocked unconscious and once I came to, I felt horrendous pain in my entire body. Which everyone told me was a good thing. I ended up breaking both of my arms, spraining my foot incredibly bad and had bumps and bruises all over my body. I was beat up. I needed to be fed by family members and lifted up and down stairs. I was at the will of my family.
After, I was terrified to get back on a horse. But looking back at life, I became terrified of anything that could possibly hurt me. Falling scared me. Falling in any way. Falling literally or from making a mistake. Falling means failing. Both thoughts gave me a horrible pain in my stomach. Both things I avoided with all of my being. To the point of being stuck. Until I was 23 and took the biggest risk I’d taken up to this point in my life. Knowing nobody in Los Angeles, I pushed my fears to the side, picked up two cats along my drive, moved into an apartment by myself and prepared for living life for the first time away from my parents. Talk about fear! And from that point forward I promised myself that every time I felt a fear rise up in me, I would conquer them, no matter what it took and no matter how scared I was.
Three years ago, I got back in the saddle and began riding again. I was terrified. I remember the panic that flew through me as the I began riding alone, without the instructor guiding the horse. I’ll never forget when we began to trot and I thought for sure I was going to die! News flash. I’m still here! And now it is one of my favorite things ever and there is nothing that makes me feel more free than being on the back of a horse. Riding faster and faster and feeling the wind whip in my hair. Allowing something else to be in complete control. It’s awesome!
Every time I get back on a horse I feel a little bit of fear as I put my foot in the stir-up and push myself up and throw my leg over ready to begin a new adventure. I am scared, but I am also energized by what lies ahead. I am excited. I no longer live in fear of riding. I love feeling in synch with every movement the horse makes.
This speaks so much to me about our lives. How many times do we all fall and have a hard time deciding if we are going to get back up into the saddle and conquer our fear? Or will we turn and never face it? Many of us live paralyzed by our fear. We allow them to stop us from living life fully. We avoid situations in which we could possibly encounter that fear. Or any fears for that matter
I was a runner. Like I ran when a situation came about that brought up fear. I left Los Angeles in fear. Nothing about my life, but I decided I was over the lifestyle there which continued to unveil peoples ill will towards me. I could have stood my ground and fought it, but fear controlled me and I decided a life was easier not dealing with Los Angeles. And earthquakes. Those are terrifying! Ten years later I have come to discover that there are people everywhere that will try to take advantage of me, try to challenge me, try to fight with me, try to blame me, try to threaten me. There are always people that will try to knock me down. And I still get knocked down. But I have learned to quickly get back in the saddle. And each time I jump back in the saddle, I gain more confidence in my strength in my abilities. I gain more confidence in myself and what I can handle.
What fears are stopping you? Are you ready to move past those fears to see what adventures lie on the other side of your fear? It could be something as small as just a fear of asking for a raise from your boss. Or it could be something as big as jumping out of an airplane. Whatever your fear is, do not let it stop you! I know I don’t anymore!
And as always, if you need help getting back in the saddle, we have many ways to help you and are always available through Pilates, Reiki, Ayurvedic Massage, Talk Therapy, and so much more! Come on in and let’s get you flowing through life again.