Just Say No!

Welcome to Day two of the Inner Spring Clean! I am not doing anything in particular eating wise, but just making sure I don’t eat sugar. That means all I dream about is sugar of course! Last night I had a dream of Sour Patch Kids and Milk Duds. And pop. I can’t even tell you the last time I drank pop! Yesterday I didn’t make any fancy meals to share. I just kept things very simple. Nothing has to be fancy when you’re eating clean. Just lean proteins with no sugar added into them and veggies. And a fat and you are all set. Don’t make things too complicated. Especially in the beginning.

Part of my inner cleanse requires a lot of self-reflection. So, here’s what I have been reflecting on for quite some time now and I want to share. Saying no when you don’t feel like doing something. I have noticed lately that when I ask someone to do something, most of the time I get a pretty long list of excuses as to why they can’t do it. If they have an IPhone, I can see the three dots flashing as they type away for minutes at a time. And here’s the thing…I don’t care to know why they can’t do it. It’s not my business. A flat out yes or no answer is perfectly acceptable. And I do that to others. I’m polite with it, but I am super comfortable just saying no if I don’t want to do something. No excuses. I feel that way about others too. I fully respect a no answer.

But I am in the minority. A lot of people hold guilt when they say no. And there’s no reason to! For today’s journaling, I want everyone to write a list of things that they would like to say no to in their daily lives. Write why you can’t say no. Really think about something that you’d like to say no to but can’t. What types of feelings come up when you think about the person asking? Think about past times when you should have said no and didn’t. What emotions do you feel thinking about it? Then, begin to visualize yourself just saying “I’m sorry. I can’t.” And leave it at that. You don’t owe anyone anything past that. Yes, they might ask (not their business) but you don’t owe them anything. I’m even to the point where I just say, “I don’t feel like it.”  After you’ve visualized so much, to the point where saying no doesn’t feel uncomfortable, it’s time to practice! The first time you say no, it’s going to feel weird. And people might be a little surprised, esp. if this is the first time you’ve said no. But that’s ok!

Now the first time you say no there might be some silence. That’s perfectly fine! You still don’t owe an explanation! I either will say “How’s everything else?” to switch the topic or I’ll bring up a subject totally opposite of what they were talking about. They might not respond back if they texted you (and that’s ok!) or they might want to go right away if they’ve called you up. Again, it’s ok! You have set a boundary with yourself and done what is right for you. That is never something to be ashamed of. Once you’ve said no, you cannot think of it further! I used to feel super guilty after saying no. I would think of myself as a bad person, beat myself up for being lazy and debate texting back that I’d do it. Even though I still didn’t want to! Doing something out of guilt is never a good idea either! Just say no!

Today, as part of our 30 Day Inner Spring Cleaning, take your journal and write away! Write what you need to say no to and didn’t say no to. Then make it a priority to say no when you don’t want to do something. If numero uno isn’t happy, the rest of the world won’t be either!

Peace and Love,

Melissa

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